How can I build my self esteem?

There is a great deal talked about self esteem. Here are a few tips on how to build your self esteem

1. Know who you are. That is what makes you happy? What makes you sad or angry? What do you value in life? What is important to you? Some people like to write a journal. This can help in getting of negative feelings, but also to just chart the good things in life. They don’t have to be big achievements or events. Often it is the smaller, simpler things that make us happy.

2. What are you basing your self esteem on? It might be that you are basing your present self esteem on something that is no longer relevant. For instance it might be that in your earlier career promotion in your job was important to you. Is that now relevant? Are there other things which now boost your self esteem more? Could it be learning something new or doing something physical like walking further each day?

3. Don’t compare yourself to others. This is never helpful. Some people are always going to be quicker, faster and more skilled than you. They might be at a different point in their journey. So if they have been learning French for three years rather than your three months of course they will be more fluent and confident. They may have found it extremely hard at first though. Similarly there are other things where you are more advanced or where your shines through.

4. Challenge yourself when you put yourself down. We all do this at some stage “Oh, I’ve never been good at maths”. “Oh, I’m just not very creative”. “It’s no good asking me. I’m hopeless at that kind of thing”. Try changing the narrative. How about “I would like to be better with IT. No reason why I can’t be”. Try things and don’t worry if you are brilliant to start with. How would talk to and encourage a friend who was going to tackle something new? Talk to yourself in the same way.

5. Praise yourself. Some people often find this last one a bit strange, but it works for many people. Look in the mirror and say positive things to yourself. “I look nice today. This outfit looks good on me” “I’m pleased with how I handed that today. Well done to me!” It doesn’t mean you are arrogant and big headed. You are just giving yourself some well deserved praise.